Chocobos and Herbs - Insomnia!
by xSereneMeadowsx
Summary: Cloud has trouble sleeping one night and who better to help him than Yuffie Kisaragi! Wutai's greatest ninja uses all kinds of hare-brained "home remedies" to cure the leader of Avalanche of his insomnia ranging from mildly annoying to downright hazardous.


AN: Hello! Welcome to _Chocobos and Herbs - Insomnia! _I hope you all enjoy this! I would like to give a big thank you to NascentRaconteur for helping me write this out! : )

* * *

**Chocobos and ****Herbs - ****Insomnia!**

Cloud Strife tossed and turned in the plush inn bed. From facing the wall, to the door, no matter what he did, he could not get any rest. He lay back on his pillow, counting the cracks in the ceiling as if doing so would somehow put his mind to rest.

He usually had roommates with him, but this time around he had a room all to himself and, for this particular night, he was grateful for that. He sighed and got up from his bed. Maybe walking around a bit would help. He opened the door of his room and stepped out into the long hallway, quietly passing by the other rooms so as not to disturb his traveling companions.

Walking down the corridor, Cloud noticed a petite, dark-haired girl coming his way.

"Yuffie?"

Yuffie perked up upon hearing her name. "Cloud?" she replied. "Wow! You don't look so good!" she said, noting his tired expression and was shocked at seeing his usually vibrant eyes looking dull, almost lifeless.

Cloud scratched the back of his head. "I can't sleep at all," he explained. "I don't know what the problem is."

Yuffie smiled. "Not to worry, Spikes. I, Wutai's greatest ninja, will help cure you of your insomnia."

Cloud looked at Yuffie, a little bewildered by her offer of assistance. "You'd do that?"

"Yeah, why not?" Yuffie replied with a grin. "I know a few things we can try."

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Cloud said. "By the way, how come you're always up so late?" Yuffie's seemingly boundless reserves of energy had always puzzled the former soldier, and he wondered how she managed to keep going all day at her nigh-on rabid pace without wearing herself out.

"Because I'm not some old, fossilized geriatric, unlike some people," she replied, giving a playful smile to the tired man in front of her.

"Ha ha, very funny," Cloud said, crossing his arms. "So, what did you have in mind?"

Yuffie put her finger to her chin. "Well…we could start with warm milk, I guess."

Cloud raised an eyebrow. "How is that going to do anything?"

Yuffie grabbed his arm, tugging him along as they walked down the hallway. "Just try it."

Cloud sighed, but decided to go along with her. "All right."

They went to the dining room and asked a staff member for some warm milk, then took a seat at one of the tables. Yuffie watched as Cloud sipped some of the milk.

"Feeling sleepy yet?" Yuffie asked, propping her elbows up on the table, resting her chin in her hands.

Cloud shook his head and finished the last of the milk. "Nothing."

Yuffie frowned. "Strange. That usually does the trick for me. Guess we'll have to try something else.."

She drummed her fingers on the table for a minute, thinking about what to do next, then perked up again. "Hey, I know!" she said, snapping her fingers. "Come with me!"

She grabbed Cloud's arm and ran towards the entrance. Pushing the heavy mahogany door open with ease, she brought herself and her sleep-deprived companion outside.

"What's out here that could possibly help me get to sleep?" Cloud asked, tugging his arm out of Yuffie's grip.

Yuffie groaned. "Would you relax?! Just wait over here. I'll be right back."

She dashed off, leaving Cloud by himself. _Geez! He's so cranky!_ she thought. _Now let's see…_

"Ah, here we go!" she said, waving Cloud over as she spotted what she was looking for. He walked over to the far side of the inn's exterior, where the young ninja was busy flipping a wooden barrel over on its side.

"A barrel?" Cloud asked, giving her a dubious look.

"Yup," Yuffie replied.

"A barrel," Cloud repeated.

"Cloud, you're not going weird on me, are you?" Yuffie asked. "Get in, already!"

_And she says I'm being weird,_ Cloud thought. Nevertheless, he decided to go along with her odd request. He had long since given up on conventional means of falling asleep, and he figured that if whatever it was that Yuffie had in mind didn't work, he would at least be no worse off than before.

"Comfy in there?" Yuffie asked, as he lay down inside the musty old barrel.

"Not really," Cloud said.

"Give it a minute," Yuffie replied.

"So, how is this supposed to help me fall asleep?" Cloud asked.

"Didn't you know?" Yuffie asked. "Sleeping in different things can help cure all sorts of ailments."

"...Really?" Cloud asked.

"Yup," Yuffie said, giving him a confident nod. "Sleeping in a barrel helps you get rid of insomnia. Sleeping in a coffin gets rid of allergies, and so on," she explained. "You know, my uncle slept in a cannon once," she added.

"What did that get rid of?" Cloud asked.

"It got rid of my uncle," Yuffie said.

"Ouch," Cloud replied.

Yuffie shrugged. "It was how he would have wanted to go."

Cloud leaned his head back, entertaining the notion that Yuffie might not be the only member of the Kisaragi family who happened to be just slightly nutty, after all.

"Well?" Yuffie asked.

"Nothing so far," Cloud said.

"Strange," Yuffie said. "Maybe if we moved it further out into the field.."

"I don't think that's such a good ide-" Cloud started. But before he could finish his sentence, Yuffie was already rolling the barrel down the grassy meadows, with him still inside it. The effect was that of being caught inside the world's slowest washing machine, which was not half as much fun as he had imagined such an experience might turn out to be.

As the young ninja got going, however, she seemed to be speeding up, little by little, until finally, the barrel took off on its own, careening down the nearby hill.

"Yuffie?" Cloud called, trying to hold on to some semblance of balance as the barrel spun out of control. "What's going on?!"

"Um, I kinda lost control of it," Yuffie said. "Look out for that-"

She winced at the hideous crunching sound as the barrel crashed into the lone tree at the bottom of the hill.

"...tree," she finished.

She headed down the hill, giving Cloud a sheepish grin as he climbed out of the barrel's wreckage, bracing herself for whatever lecture or scolding was coming her way. But he simply got up, sighed, and brushed the splinters from his arms and torso. "Okay..." he said, "suffice it to say that _that_ method didn't work. Any other bright ideas?"

"Sure. Lots," Yuffie said, grabbing his hand again. "Follow me!"

"Where are we going?" Cloud asked.

"There's a waterfall nearby, right?" Yuffie replied. "That means there should be some frogs around."

"Frogs?" Cloud asked, failing to make the connection between the amphibian creatures and sleep. Yuffie, however, seemed undeterred by such concerns, and proceeded to drag him off into the woods.

[A few moments later]

"Okay, I've got to ask..." Cloud said. "What's with the giant frog?"

"Shh.."

Yuffie sat cross-legged on one of the round boulders near the waterfall, eyes closed, with her hands resting on her knees. She had her palms turned outwards, with her thumbs and forefingers pinched together, assuming a meditative position.

Cloud sat opposite her on another boulder a short distance away, doing his best to mimic her pose, but the sizeable frog balanced on top of his head was making it difficult for him to remain still.

Yuffie, hearing how much Cloud was squirming, peeked at him with one eye. "Keep still!" she hissed. "It won't work unless you stay completely still."

"It stings," Cloud said. "Besides, you still haven't explained how this going to help cure me of my insomnia."

"It forces you to be calm and quiet," Yuffie said. "That'll help you to fall asleep."

_I don't know about sleep,_ Cloud thought, _but I'm getting pretty tired of this nonsense._

"Now, keep quiet," Yuffie said, closing her eyes again.

"Ribbit," the frog chimed in.

"..Shut up," Cloud muttered.

"No talking!" Yuffie reminded him.

Cloud sighed. He decided to humor his teenaged friend for a while longer. He sat as still as he was able, doing his best to resist the urge to scratch his head. He wasn't feeling particularly calm or relaxed. If anything, he was growing more irritated by the minute, and not just in the mental sense. The frog sitting on top of his head didn't seem very happy, either.

"I said stop squirming," Yuffie said.

"I told you, it stings," Cloud said.

"Do you want to fall asleep or not?" Yuffie replied. "You'll just have to put with it for a little while longer. Be patient."

Cloud bit his tongue, and did his best to relax and ignore the ill-tempered amphibian balanced on top of his head. Try as he might, however, it wasn't long before he was starting to squirm and shift around again. As he continued to sit and wait, he realized that the frog's touch didn't merely sting. It was starting to _burn_.

"You have to keep calm," Yuffie said. "You'll scare it off, otherwise."

"Calmness be damned," Cloud said, removing the frog from his head. "I've had enough of this."

"What are you doing!?" Yuffie shouted.

Without replying, Cloud got back up, tossing the rather surprised-looking frog back into the lake. The top of his head looked scalded at this point. His palms, too, were starting to turn red, Yuffie noticed as she crossed over, joining him on top of his boulder.

"Okay, um... I think maybe we should treat that," she said with a nervous laugh.

A while later, they were back at the river bank, and Yuffie was busy bandaging Cloud's arms and head with wraps soaked in analgesic fluid.

"A poisonous frog," Cloud said. "Thanks a bunch, Yuffie."

"..I said I was sorry, okay?" Yuffie muttered.

"Look, let's just forget the whole thing," Cloud said. "I'm heading back to the inn."

"Wait," Yuffie said, grabbing his arm. "I've got one more idea. This one's foolproof."

"No," Cloud said. "That's enough for one night."

"Come on. Please?" Yuffie said, giving him a puppy-eye stare. "Please, please, pleeeaaassseee?"

Cloud sighed. "Oh, all right.."

"Right on!" Yuffie said, pumping her fist in the air and grinning "Follow me!"

_I'm going to regret this, _Cloud thought, as the young ninja yanked him off to some other part of the forest. It still amazed him how she always managed to go from glum to ecstatic within the space of a millisecond.

* * *

"Yuffie, are you sure about this?" Cloud asked, peering down the steep cliff.

"Don't worry, this one's bound to work," Yuffie said.

"How is this going to help me sleep?" Cloud asked.

"It'll get your adrenaline going," Yuffie explained. "Once that wears off, you'll get tired and sleep like a log."

Cloud leaned over the edge of the cliff again, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at the thick swathe of gnarled trees and jagged rocks below.

"It works best if you leap off a north-facing cliff, I'm told," Yuffie added.

"Yuffie... I _really_ don't think this is a good idea," Cloud said.

"What, you don't trust me?" Yuffie asked, and Cloud thought he could detect a note of hurt in her voice.

"Look, it's not that I don't trust you, but.." Cloud started, glancing back at her.

"Great! Off you go, then," Yuffie replied, grinning, then shoved him off the cliff without any further delay.

For a brief moment, all she could hear was a loud wailing as he dropped down the cliff, followed by a final thud as he hit the ground.

"Wait... was it a north-facing cliff or a south-facing cliff?" Yuffie mused. "Ah, well.."

She shrugged, then skipped on down the road to the bottom of the cliff, where she found Cloud lying in a heap on the ground, groaning and twitching.

"Are you okay?" she asked, leaning over him, noting the way he was now covered in scratches and bruises.

"...I think I broke my everything," Cloud replied.

"Oh, come on," Yuffie said. "Don't be such a big baby. You're lying down, aren't you?"

"Yuffie, the reason I'm lying down is because I can't _move_."

"Well, sorr-ee," Yuffie replied. "How was _I_ supposed to know the cliff was completely flat?"

Before Cloud could protest further, Yuffie brought a curative materia out of her pocket to heal him.

"Feel better?" she asked as the effects of the orb kicked in.

"Yeah," Cloud said, sitting up. "Thanks... I guess."

"Feel tired?"

Cloud shrugged. "Not really."

"Shucks," Yuffie said. "I'm all out of ideas."

_Thank Gaia,_ Cloud thought.

Yuffie snapped her fingers. "No, wait! I got one more," she said.

_Oh, great.. _Cloud thought, as she dragged him off to somewhere else.

* * *

After the cliff fiasco, Cloud trudged behind Yuffie, still in a great deal of pain. _This is going to __leave a mark or two __in the morning, _he thought. _How do I keep letting her talk me into these things, anyway?_

He had no idea where they were going to next, but his question was soon answered as he saw the inn come into view once more. _Why are we heading back here?_ he thought. Had the Great Ninja of Wutai given up? That didn't seem like Yuffie.

She led him back into the dining room, although the kitchen was by now closed for the night. "Wait here," Yuffie said, planting Cloud into one of the chairs. "I gotta go get some stuff from my room!"

So saying, the young ninja dashed off, leaving the former Shinra soldier feeling rather bewildered. When Yuffie returned, moments later, she had with her a glass, a jar of warm water, lemon balm, some ginger root, oat straw, and a few lavender flowers. In addition, she had a large book, labeled 'Ancient Wutaian Recipes', tucked underneath her arm. She dropped the ingredients onto the table, then flipped the book open.

"Let's see here. Insomnia, insomnia.." she said, flipping through the book's mouldy pages. "Ah, here we go! 'Recipe for herb drink - Soothing Yellow Springs. Cures incontinence, head lice, insomnia and bad breath'."

Cloud said nothing, but gave her a dubious look.

"Don't worry. This one's foolproof! Guaranteed to knock you out," Yuffie said, shutting the book, grinning.

Cloud waited and watched as the young ninja snuck into the nearby kitchen, 'borrowing' ingredients here and there for her recipe. He looked at the sundry and incongruous ingredients in puzzlement as she lined them up on the table. "Are you really going to mix all these things together?" he asked.

"Yeah…why?" Yuffie said. "What are you looking at me like that for? Haven't you ever seen someone mix a herb drink before?"

"Let's just say it's not my usual choice of drink," Cloud said. "What makes you think this'll actually work?" he asked, looking over the melange of items Yuffie had cobbled together. All the different aromas were… startling, to say the least. In actuality, it was a little overpowering to the Avalanche leader.

"Well, in Wutai, we usually have some kind of herb drink with our dinner," Yuffie explained. "It's all part of tradition and blah blah blah. Anyway, it's supposed to soothe and relax the body."

Yuffie picked up the ingredients and began mixing in everything. Cloud watched as she worked, using a small knife to chop up the lemon balm, oat straw, and ginger root. She tore up the lavender flowers with her bare hands, sprinkling them into the glass. Then she added a bunch more ingredients she had purloined from the kitchen and shook the whole thing together in an aluminum drink mixer, before pouring the result into a tall glass.

"There ya go!" she said, handing the glass over to Cloud.

Cloud took the glass, staring at its contents warily, more 'sickly green' than 'soothing yellow'.

"Yuffie... this is... _green,_" he said.

Yuffie sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "Just try it! It has a little bit of yellow in there! Besides, no one questions the Great Ninja Yuffie's herb mixing skills!"

Cloud shook his head and sipped the viscous liquid. The taste was indescribable. So many different things assailed his taste buds at once that his mind couldn't comprehend any of them. He swallowed the juice, grimacing as he did. "Is this supposed to be…"

He paused, coughing and gagging. "Is this supposed to be this bitter?"

"I _think_ so. I haven't really made this one before," Yuffie said, watching as Cloud finished the drink.

Cloud set the glass down on the table next to him, then doubled over, wrapping his arms around his stomach, groaning. "I don't feel so good…"

He looked up and Yuffie gasped. Cloud's face was turning to a sickly green color, much like her drink.

"Uh, Cloud…" Yuffie took a step forward, but Cloud lightly pushed her aside, rushing off to the nearest bathroom.

Yuffie shook her head. _Man, I didn't think it'd be that strong… _

A few minutes later, Cloud returned, looking a little better. He walked back into the dining room, marching over to Yuffie. "Are you trying to kill me or something?!" he growled.

"No!" Yuffie replied, getting defensive. "I'm just trying to help you! Honest!"

"Okay, this can't be right," Cloud said, looking over at the recipe book. "That tasted _awful_."

"Just read the recipe!" Yuffie said. "It says right here.."

She trailed off, noticing that the page she had meant to read from had been torn out of the book. Only the top of the page, a strip bearing the title of the recipe, remained, and she realized that she had been reading the recipe underneath it the whole time. She flipped the top of the torn page aside to see what she had actually been mixing together.

"'Recipe for... embalming fluid'?" she read.

Cloud glared at her, looking pale again.

"Um, oops..." Yuffie chuckled. "My bad."

"I... you..." Cloud stuttered, looking as though he wanted to say something. In fact, he attempted to several times, but he had no words to express what was going through his head at that moment, so all he managed to do was make flailing gestures for a few seconds, before dismissing the whole thing with a wave of the hand. "You know what? Never mind. I'm going back to bed," he said, sighing again.

"Oh, come on," Yuffie said. "We can't give up now just because we've had a couple of set-backs."

"We?" Cloud said. "_I'm_ the one who has to be the guinea pig for all your crazy stunts."

Well," Yuffie said, looking dejected all of a sudden, "if you don't want my help, just say so, and I'll go away.."

Cloud decided to ease off. Maybe he was being too hard on her, he thought. She only meant well, after all. "I didn't say that," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Look, do you have any ideas that don't involve drinks or frogs or jumping off cliffs?"

Yuffie put her finger up to her chin for a moment, looking up, thinking. Then she snapped her fingers as another idea occurred to her.

"I think I've got it," she said.

_Wonderful,_ Cloud thought.

* * *

Cloud looked around as Yuffie led him towards an evergreen field, some distance away from the farm town where they were lodging.

"Okay, here's the plan!" Yuffie exclaimed, letting go of Cloud's arm. "We're going to look around for a golden chocobo. I hear that riding one of these creatures at night helps you to fall asleep instantly."

"Really? That's it?" Cloud asked. In comparison to everything else they had tried that night, Yuffie's latest idea didn't sound so bad. After all, he and the others had a fair bit of experience riding the large bird-creatures. Maybe a peaceful, midnight (or in this case, three in the morning) stroll was just what he needed.

Yuffie equipped her Chocobo Lure materia as she and Cloud walked together down the field. They walked on for a while, but nothing happened. Everything seemed rather quiet, except for the crickets, who chirped away, making their usual night music. The young ninja was not endowed with a great deal of patience, however. She scowled, scanning their surroundings for any signs of life, growing more irate by the minute. Just when she was ready to give up, however, she spotted a large chocobo with gilded feathers in the distance, fast asleep by the look of it.

"All right!" Yuffie whispered, grinning. "On the count of three, you go over there and grab it."

"Why me?" Cloud asked, puzzled. "You're the one wearing the Chocobo Lure. Why don't you do it?"

"Because you're a chocobo head, that's why," Yuffie retorted. "You two should get on like a house on fire. Here, take these greens with you," she added, tossing him a bag of chocobo feed.

Cloud rolled his eyes at her comment. Everyone was always banging on about how his hair resembled a chocobo. Perhaps it was time to try something new, he thought. Still, as he spent most of his days trying not to get devoured by giant monsters and keeping some semblance of peace between the other Avalanche members, the dictates of fashion were about the last thing on his mind. He tried visualizing his hair in a flat style, combed back style, heck, even bald. He shook his head. It was doubtful that any of these choices would suit him any better.

Cloud quietly made his way over to the bird, and when he was close enough, he reached out and gently stroked its feathers. The bird slowly opened its eyes, looking with mild curiosity at the blond-haired man in front of it. Cloud took this moment to take out the greens and feed them to the creature.

"Wark!" The chocobo happily munched on the greens, gobbling them up with alarming speed. Cloud reached out to pat the chocobo, but when he did, the bird's demeanour transformed completely. The chocobo raised its head, snapping at his fingers, glaring at him in a fit of rage. For whatever reason, his continued presence seemed to have set the creature off. The giant bird stomped and brayed, looking at him with murder in its blood-shot eyes.

_Oh, great…I just ticked off the chocobo, _Cloud thought._ This really isn't my night._

He took off, running away from the mad creature. _Of all the chocobos to wake up, it just had to be one that was psychotic, _he thought.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Yuffie asked as he came rushing across the hillock that she was hiding behind. He didn't bother to answer, as she soon spotted the giant, angry pile of feathers storming her way. Yuffie took off in the same direction as Cloud, avoiding the bird as it chased the two of them further down into the fields.

Despite their best efforts to escape, the chocobo simply wouldn't let up, gaining ground as they grew more and more tired, at one point chasing the hapless duo up one of the trees near the village, then stalked off again, pretending to have grown tired of the chase, only to reappear from behind the bushes to scare them off again once they'd climbed back down.

By now, they were off somewhere in the forest surrounding the quiet hamlet. Neither one of them knew how long they ran for, but after what felt like ages, Yuffie decided to chance turning around to make sure the bird had quit following them. Satisfied that they were alone again, they finally came to a halt, collapsing to the ground in one of the forest's numerous glades.

"Phew, safe at last.." Yuffie smiled in relief.

Cloud nodded, too exhausted to reply. He and the young girl simply lay there on the grass for a while, catching their breath.

"Listen... I've got one last thing I want to try," Yuffie said.

"No... that's it. No more," Cloud said, wheezing. "No more of your hare-brained schemes. I might not be getting any sleep tonight, but I'll settle for not getting killed."

"It'll only take a second," Yuffie said. "No cliffs or chocobos involved, I swear. You won't even have to move."

"Okay... fine," Cloud said, sitting up on one of the rocks nearby. _Can't be any worse than the things we've already tried tonight._

Yuffie sat down next to him, taking his hands, turning them upwards, then pressed her thumbs against the insides of his palms, massaging them in a soothing manner.

_This feels... pretty good, actually._ Cloud thought, surprised by the gentleness of her touch. He closed his eyes, letting her continue with her massage. It was certainly the most calming thing they had done all night. Maybe it would work, after all..

Then, without warning, she dug her fingernails into his skin. "Ow!" Cloud said, pulling his hands away again. "What was _that_ for?"

"Shiatsu," Yuffie said.

Cloud stared at the young girl as if she had grown a second head.

"It's like mini-acupuncture," Yuffie explained. "Puts pressure on your sleep vessels."

"Sleep vessels?" Cloud asked, giving her yet another dubious look. To call some of her ideas for insomnia remedies pseudo-science would be generous, to say the least.

"That's right," Yuffie said.

"You could have warned me, at least," Cloud said, rubbing his hands.

"Anyway, it should only take a minute before the effects kick in," Yuffie said.

"So, what do we do now?" Cloud asked.

"Just sit and wait, I guess," Yuffie replied.

[A few minutes later]

"Anything?" Yuffie asked.

Cloud shrugged. "Still not tired," he replied.

"Yeah... me neither."

Yuffie sighed. The two of them had by now exhausted all avenues of curing Cloud's insomnia. In fact, despite her claim to the contrary, she was starting to feel exhausted, period. She let out a long yawn, stretching her arms out to the sky, then rubbed her eyes.

Without realizing it, she was leaning against Cloud's shoulder for balance. Cloud glanced at the young ninja as she leaned against him, surprised by the sudden, though not unpleasant, physical contact.

Feeling her lithe form pressing against his, he, too, began to feel tired. They lay down on the cool patch of grass in the middle of the clearing, and he wrapped one arm around her shoulder as she rested her head underneath his chin.

Yuffie let out a sigh of contentment. _This is nice,_ she thought, closing her eyes. _I could get used to this.._

She cuddled up next to him, and they slept together there in the forest, exhausted from the night's misadventures.

* * *

_Sniff, sniff.._

"Mmmm... go away," Yuffie muttered, batting away at the wet thing poking against her cheek. But the nosy presence remained, sniffing her body from head to toe.

"I said scram!" Yuffie said, lashing out again, with more force this time. Someone or something let out a yelp, one that sounded oddly familiar, as her palm struck what felt like a mound of fur.

"Ow... was that really necessary?" someone grumbled, and she heard footsteps moving away from her as the incessant presence departed.

She turned on her side, hugging the large, body-shaped pillow underneath her, letting out another sigh of satisfaction. Then she realized where she was. "Wah!" she cried as she started, banging her head against the underside of Cloud's head as she sat bolt upright.

"Ouch.." Yuffie said, rubbing the sore spot at the top of her head.

Cloud, similarly, was now wide awake, rubbing the underside of his jaw. "Oof.."

"Oh, uh... g-good morning.." Yuffie said, blushing.

"...'morning." Cloud replied, sitting up and scratching the back of his head. "Did you sleep well?"

"..Yeah," Yuffie replied. "You?"

"Never slept better," Cloud said. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Yuffie replied, beaming at him.

It was a moment before they realized they were not alone. Nanaki sat opposite them in the glade, his tail slowly swishing back and forth as he watched the pair with seeming indifference.

"Would it be impertinent if I inquired as to what you're doing out here?" he said.

Cloud and Yuffie glanced at one another for a second, then looked back at the crimson beast.

"Yes," they replied in unison.

A few minutes later, Yuffie and Nanaki were headed back to the inn, where the others were breakfasting. Cloud had broken off from the group, heading into town for some spare supplies, leaving just the two of them.

"Hey, Red?" Yuffie said, as they stepped inside the inn's foyer.

"Yes?"

"Do me a favor? Maybe don't mention this to the other girls. They'll think I'm being weird."

"No more than usual," Nanaki replied.

"W-what's that supposed to mean?" Yuffie demanded, clenching her fists, growing red-faced at his casual insinuation.

"Nothing," Nanaki said.

"Mention what?" Aerith asked, picking up on their conversation.

"Oh, uh... was that out loud?" Yuffie said, giving out a nervous laugh. "Um... forget I said anything."

"What are you guys talking about?" Tifa asked, joining them in the foyer.

"Boy, would you look at the time?" Yuffie said, pretending to check her non-existent watch. "We _really_ need to get going. Right, Red? Yup, I think I'd better start packing right away.."

"It's seven in the morning, Yuffie," Tifa said, stopping the young ninja as she attempted to slip away. "We've got plenty of time. Now, spit it out."

Yuffie scanned her surroundings for any means of escape, but soon gave up, realizing that she was cornered. "Um, it's nothing, really.."

Aerith turned her attention to Nanaki. "Red?" she said, in a tone of voice that told him she wasn't asking, so much as telling him that he had better answer truthfully, for his own sake.

"I found her and Cloud sleeping together in the woods," Nanaki said.

Yuffie blanched, giving Nanaki a death-glare. Her urge to taxidermy her four-legged companion right there on the spot, however, was quickly replaced by thoughts of locating the nearest means of egress, seeing the other girls' reaction. Time appeared to slow down, and she could see the storm clouds gathering over their heads.

"Sleeping... together?" Tifa asked, drawing each word out to its breaking point. Yuffie could see her left eye starting to twitch.

"J-Just sleeping. Honest!" Yuffie said, waving her hands defensively in front of her face. "Counting sheep, sawing wood, big 'z' marks hanging over our heads, you know? That sort of thing.."

Despite her reassurances, it was clear that the other girls weren't having any of her feeble attempts to smooth things over.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Cloud asked, stepping inside the foyer.

"Cloud..." Aerith said, in a voice that was just a little too sweet and innocent to hint at any good intentions. "Would you come over here for a second?"

Moments later, the ex-soldier could be seen bolting out of the inn, with two furious girls chasing after him.

"She's sixteen, Cloud. _Sixteen_!" Tifa yelled. "What the hell were you _thinking_!?"

"What did _I_ do?" Cloud asked, ducking as Aerith swung her staff across his head.

Yuffie and Nanaki stood by in the doorway, watching the ongoing chase. "Thanks, Red. Thanks a frickin' bunch," Yuffie said, crossing her arms. "You and your big freaking mouth."

"Well, look at it this way," Nanaki said. "He'll need someone to nurse him back to health once they're finished with him. If you're looking for an excuse to spend more time together, that is."

Yuffie sighed. "Always an upside, huh?"

"Yes," Nanaki replied. "In the meantime, might I suggest we have breakfast?"

Yuffie glanced at her friends as they tore through the meadows. She briefly considered intervening, but then decided that getting in Tifa and Aerith's way right now was _not_ a good idea.

_Poor guy,_ she thought. _I hope they don't go too hard on him._

As she joined the others at the breakfast table, she could hear something clattering against the ceiling, then a loud crash as the three of them came hurtling through the upper floor window, dropping down into the bale of hay just outside the dining hall, with Cloud escaping the two hellions behind him by a mere fraction of a second.

Cid glanced out the window, watching the unfolding pandemonium for a moment, then shook his head, turning his attention back to the newspaper in his hands. "So, I guess we're not gettin' any peace today either, huh?" he asked.

Yuffie shrugged, picking idly away at her breakfast while she waited for the chase to wind down. "Well," she said, "at least we got a good night's sleep."


End file.
